Self-Help, Life Advice, Relationships.?

I am 26 years old. I have multi-talents. College Graduate, Former Model(Won Talent Awards), Experienced Bartender, Talented at Home Repairs, Have superior sales/customer service/people skills, Excel at writing, Have great analytical skills(I can process and see key points in information that most others cannot), and I can read people well. The problem or weakness that I have is that I can be very shy, quiet, reserved, and passive. This was pretty much a learned behavior that I had acquired from my family. These weaknesses are something that I have been battling most of my life. Throughout my childhoold I was treated by others as a ';loner'; always being rejected. I only really have myself to blame for this. However, it has taken a toll on my confidence and self-esteem overall and is somewhat hindering my success. I just need some advice, in terms of how to build up my self-esteem and confidence to have the balls to do the things I want to do in life and not have any worries.Self-Help, Life Advice, Relationships.?
Very simple, Do What Makes You Happy





and





Treat Other People The Way You Would Have Them Treat You.Self-Help, Life Advice, Relationships.?
I found that most of my shyness occurred because I was self-conscious about what other people were thinking about me. While spending time in Alcoholics Anonymous, I discovered that if I stopped judging people (which is a no win situation anyway) I actually stopped thinking or worrying about what they might be thinking about me ! Wow,, a side-effect that I had not imagined....Give it a try! When we judge others, we lose anyway, because we see them as less than us, which makes us egotistical...or better than us, which makes us envious. Both, being negative emotions.
If only I had the answer...then I wouldn't have the exact same problem!





Truthfully though, I have been working really hard to change this aspect of myself, and I know you can do the same thing.





Get books and CD's on the subject. The books might seem corny, but trust me, the more you read and listen to things that teach you how to build yourself up, the better you will become at it.





I recently listened to a set that my dad gave me that centered around the fact that we are what we tell ourselves. That really hit home for me, because I was telling myself some pretty awful things.





When I catch myself doing it now, I force myself to switch it around. I even stand in front of the mirror at look at myself in the face and say outloud who I am. Even if I don't REALLY believe it, I'm saying it. The brain hears it and takes it in, and eventually that is going to make a big difference.





I know you can do this. It might take time. I mean, I'm still working on it. But it gets better everyday that you make an effort to change it.
self esteem is not fixed for life, our parents, teachers, authority figures influence the ideas we develop about ourselves. just retrain that inner critic, and take back control, decide that the inner voice won't be critical anymore, only constructive. how we feel about ourselves can influence how we live our lives. aim for accomplishments, not perfection.
This isn't the answer you are looking for but I thought I'd comment..





I am also extremely shy/quiet, and was a loner durring elementary and middle school. High school was alright, I was still pretty quiet but had a variety of friends.





I'm pretty much at your point, I'd like to build up my self esteem and confidence as well.





So, you are not alone!





But wow, you sound like you wouldn't have that trouble at all having all that experience and education.
the best self help is to help others, its good life advice and will benifit you in all areas of your life includeing relationships.