I know it's going to be tough, but I think that you try and wait until the unfortunate death of your mother-in-law. Your husband obviously does not want to leave his mother in the care of his sister who does not help much, but you clearly love your husband and your child so try to stick through it. Good times will come after bad times =)Can you give me life advice?
remember you vows??? this is the for worse part. If you want the relationship to work you gotta stick with him. Don't call your sis in law worker cause you will start something that you can not finish and stuff like that tends to blow up in your face. Even though you would be ';right'; in doing so but don't do it. You don't have a leg to stand on so to speak cause you live there. And don't be a door mat for the mom either. Offer you help one time and if she declines then you are in the clear. You have your husband and a kid. You didn't sign up to take care of the mom so don't. That's your husbands and his sisters job. Good luck with that!
Advice about life, IT SUCKS. Sorry for you troubles. My siblings and I took care of our parents before they died. It's far from easy. It puts up a lot of walls between each other.Many people don't want to be helped by other like you because your not a son or daughter. If she is getting crap to eat and her care isn't there then you should step in and let the state know. Eating what she is given is killing her.She needs someone else to take over that cares.With the amount of people there your boyfriend should be able to get a job.You and your child need to get out.The stress isn't good for you or your child. Children are smart they know when things aren't right.Talk with your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel and that something has to change. Make sure you tell him it's not his fault. Tell him you and HIS child can't keep living this way.Tell him your not asking him to walk away from his mother ,just make the your three life's better.Tell him he has to talk to his mother and his sisters. Your the one that wants to help the most and your getting the worst of it. Make it clear that things have to change or you'll make them change. I hope things work out. I'd like to read on here some day that you only question is What do I do to quit having so much fun in life. Good luck honey
I know it would be wonderful if we could change people but since that's impossible the answer is that you need to do what you can to keep your family together. I'm almost certain you would qualify for state help. Housing, cash assistance, food stamps, ect..... With that in mind, you get to finish school, live in peace, and not have to deal with your in-laws.
yes, you are between a rock and a hard place. I would suggest you talk with your husband about the situation and what is frustrating you. The more you talk and share the burden from your heart the easier it will be for you. It's not for you to carry the burden alone. What you have said is factual, yet you cannot change it by yourself, one day hopefully your husband will see what your input was.
You can also look for a job and support wherever you can for your family, you can move out with your husband and let him be coming to visit his mom...talk it out go through the options with your husband, he sounds like e a considerate person, and you should be able to go through this together.
Remember, you have a right to be happy, and in your choice of things to do, you come first because you have a kid whose choice you hold as well. I hope I'm making sense in this..but good luck and keep holding on!
The first thing you should absolutely do, is get your own place. It doesn't matter if it's just a room with toilet!! You need to have your own place, your own pace where you can do whatever you want. He can go look after his mother in her house. Trust me, it will make things so much better and there will be less tension between you, the mother, and the sister. As far as groceries, if they don't want your help and they don't like you, keep that money and pay your rent with it.
As far as your husband, he needs to get a job too to help out. I thought the sister was watcher after the mom. He'll probably be of more help if he brings in extra cash!
If you ask me, it sounds like you married the father because of having a baby with him. If that's the case, stop lying to yourself and move on with your life.
Clearly your in a lot of emotional trauma. I can't say I understand what your going through but personally, if I was going through this and I understand it will be hard for you, but just wait till she passes on. Or hire someone to take care of her. Clearly her daughter doesn't want to deal with her and isn't, and her son, your husband is feeling guilty. Don't leave him, he's just being a good son, this is his mother and he doesn't deserve to be left when all he's trying to do is help out the family. Put her in a home, hire someone to help her, or something. And don't take the things that she's said to you to heart. I'm sure she's a very kind person, but she's going through a lot. It'll be difficult, and i'm sorry to tell you that, but until you get her into a home or have someone help you out with her, theres no way you're going to live the life you want untill she passes on.
Stop being resentful of your ailing mother-in-law. You are going back to school so you are already on track to make a better life for you and your child. Stop worrying about his mother - obviously no one wants your input and frankly its their house that you are boarding in.
Once you are employed as a med assist you can shop for your own place. UNtil then, be thankful you have a place to live and an attainable goal to better yourself.
I understand having a baby makes a woman very centered around herself and child ONLY (and generally that's good) but there are other people who have lives to live regardless of whether you approve of how they conduct themselves. Learn to be more patient and grateful.
What you should keep in mind is that ';family'; is your husband and your child, that is it. Its even written in the bible, that you should leave your father and your mother and follow your spouse.
Having said that, the solution is get on welfare, food stamps, rent an efficiency, start working and let your husband visit his mom whenever he needs to help her. You stay out of it, take care of your child, your husband and live happily ever after. Its your choice
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