Pregnancy, boyfriend and general life advice? please?

Well, im 17, nearly 18


ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years now he is 19 , we went from best friends to lovers in 8 months and then spent 2 years in love, we are still very much in love to this day,





my mother passed away when i was 13 years old, leaving everything to me and my sister, a house and car to sell in addition.


when me and my boyfriend met he was addicted to cannabis, during the 8 months of our friendship i pulled him out of the gutter, got him off of weed and stopped his constant drinking. then last week he broke up with me. said he couldn't stop thinking about weed recently and couldn't risk hurting me.


he says he loves me with all of his heart and thinks we are perfect together but he doesn't ant to be with me because he doesn't want to hurt me. he says i am definatly more important than weed but he doesnt know if he can give it up. he has started smoking it regulary again during this week we have been seperated we have had sex, when we are together we know we are very much in love and everything seems right and perfect and we had sex, but the condom split. he says he really wants a baby together that it would be perfect, a year ago i got pregnant with him but i had a still birth at 7 months, we have both wanted children since but never really done anything about it


i really dont know what to do, he said he wants me back but is too scared he will hurt me


so i have no boyfriend even though i really love him, may be pregnant and if im not he wants to start trying.


i have enough money to support a baby due to my mothers will money and he has EMA which he says he will save every penny of, once my parents know they will be supportive but im still so confused?Pregnancy, boyfriend and general life advice? please?
1. If he isn't going to give up weed then you shouldn't be with him because if he really loves you, then he would respect your wishes.





2. If you guys aren't going to be together DO NOT have a baby together. You will be making your life soooo much harder and making the child's life difficult. Also, having a baby is in no way going to bring you guys together or make your ex change for the better. Only have a baby when you are in a committed, loving relationship, where both partners respect one another and would never do anything to hurt the other person. Remember, if you have a baby, you are in charge of another life, and you have to do anything you can to make sure the baby grows up in a loving home - not one filled with arguments between his/her parents.





This is about the best advice I can give you. I wish all the best for you. Good Luck!! =DPregnancy, boyfriend and general life advice? please?
Well having money left to you by your mother doesn't necessarily mean that you're financially stable enough to have a baby. If you're not planning on going to college for a degree, I would at least have a job with good health benefits before I started planning to bring a child into the world.





Secondly, you can't be ';addicted'; to marijuana, it has no physically addictive properties. In my opinion, it is FAR better to smoke weed regularly than to be an alcoholic, crackhead or other drug abuser. He is only scared he will hurt you because you have judged his choice to smoke marijuana rather harshly. I think you should research marijuana and once you learn a little more about it, you'll probably be much more comfortable with him using it.
You gotta really think about this. He rather lose you than the habit of smoking out. is this the guy you really want?... He can't even commit to you fully, let alone commit to having a family with you.





To be honest with you, I don't think it's love on his end. I mean, he got his pot and he got you in the bed w/o having any strings attached. What else can a guy ask for? O yea, knowing his first born is fully comp for by mommy. Now he doesn't have to stress out about supporting the child and could focus more on buying his weed.





You should lose him. He sounds like a selfish JERK! and you deserve way better than what he is offering you.
Sweetie, I would definitely not bring a child into this situation. If you aren't pregnant, I would do everything I could to prevent that right now. Children are great but they will complicate your situation. You would end up likely being a single mother doing everything.





I am sorry about the loss of your baby.





Maybe you should take some time to be apart form him and think about what you really want to do. Remember, just because you love him doesn't mean you have to suffer.
Ok, it really doesn't seem like its over between you two. However, if broke things off because of weed, maybe his priorities are beginning to shift. He might still love you now, but what if his addiction becomes a lot stronger in a couple of months? The fact that you aren't an official couple also gives him room to have sex with other people. You guys are on a really tricky point in your relationship, and I wouldn't suggest staying there for too long. Either things have to go back to the way they were, or you're going to have to start to move on from each other. The first step to doing that is to stop having sex. If things have to break off its going to be horribly painful for you, and I'm sorry. =( But that's the way its going to have to be for a while. %26lt;3





As for the baby, I'm the same age as you. Financially, I know I myself could not support a baby, but if I were to get pregnant I think my parents would be able to. The fact is, are you mature enough to give that baby the right kind of parenting? I know I'm not. Is your boyfriend going to be responsible enough to be a father? He's addicted to weed, who knows if he'll start drinking again (the two do come hand-in-hand). Make sure that you're not going to become another teen mom who lives below the poverty line for the rest of her life. The will money will one day run out, it costs about $160,000 to raise a child from birth to 18 years of age, not including the cost of college. I think you'd be best making your life stable before you have a kid.





Good luck with everything, and make sure to think everything through completely!
Sweetheart, you are WAY too young to have a child. Enjoy your younger years whilst you have the chance. You have more than enough time to have kids in the future, spend your teen years doing teen things, not cleaning up sick and poo! Get an education and improve yourself before bringing anyone else into this world.





At the moment this guy is putting drugs ahead of you, maybe get him to go and see a dr to get help before thinking of bringing a baby into this.





All my best
Okay well first you REALLY need to ask yourself if it's time right now to have a baby. Maybe you two should get married first--or buy an apartment or house together. Maybe you should get your career on the road first. That's my advice. If you think your ready,then talk to him. Maybe having a baby in his arms will make him realize that he needs to stop taking weed and drinking for his son/daughter. Good luck :)
you need to stop worrying about him and focus on bettering YOURself in life. continue your education, just because you have enough money to support a child - what about becoming a woman with self-respect, intelligence and self-worth? i'm sorry about your mother and nothing could ever fill that void and having a child might come close however, you are just a child yourself. men come and go and if this guy is SOO OO concerned about ';hurting'; you, hello... he's telling you straight up - that he will if you stay with him. how much more plain do you need it to be? oh, i know... until you're pregnant, or have a child, then he's gonna hurt you and THEN you'll realize that he was telling you from the get-go. wake up mama, lose this loser and have some respect for yourself. i'm sure your mother would've wanted that for her daughter, since we mothers ONLY want the best for our babies. wouldn't you?
Think of the children thing this way... They are your responsibilityy the rest of your life. Do you really want to risk attempting to raise a child with someone who can be so shallow to pick drugs over love? It sounds like he may be a true addict, not all addicts are frequent users. What would you do if he he got pulled over with your child in the car and they found weed on him??? They take from the parents, usually in foster care, then the parents are left fighting the courts for their rights back. Even if you have never touched a drug in your life you will be treated as a druggie, he will have dragged you into his gutter. None of this is worth the risk. Raising a child does take money, but I had meet a lot of great people who where raised poor. The difference is they had good role model parents and a stable environment. This is only one possibility





As for the ex, don't blow him off because he likely still does love you. Just try to move on and slowly wean off the motherly support you seem to give him as a protector. But please try to wait on the kid thing





Everything happens for a reason. Just take it all one day at a time.
Him? You better think about what him being a father to your child is concerned. He will never change, is addicted to Pot though people say it is nonaddictive, and he has hurt you already.





If used properly, condoms do not break.





Get rid of this guy. If you stay with him he'll spend every sent of your mother's will money and you and your children will be forced out on the street.





Good luck, but you are a fixer and I doubt you'll stop trying to fix him.