Looking for legal and life advice?

I鈥檓 looking for legal and life advice


I was dating this girl back in July and I really liked her but things went different ways, 4 months later she told me she was pregnant. I move her into my house along with her 15 year old daughter, on April 9th the baby was born, now the fact that she was not living with me the whole time made me question if I was the father so we took a DNA test. The DNA test was a legal test but a 100% legit company and it turns out I am not the father. Now with this company I used I can have my named removed from the birth cert with the results.


Now I鈥檓 left with a ton of questions on what I should do. I love the baby I named the baby, I was there for the birth and cut the cord鈥? She told me the only other guy she has sex with in July and I contacted him, he wants nothing to do with him.


do I try to get him to sign over his rights to me and adopt him as my own? What if he won鈥檛 go along with this process? Do I cut my ties not and get out and start over?





If I do try to adopt him and the real father does sign over his rights what are my rights? Can later on he come back and rescind everything and get him back? What if things go sour with me the mother and she takes off with him do I have rights to see him??/





Please any advice would be great, I鈥檓 looking for lawyers and or people have been in this spot before please tell me in your comments how you have come to your answers/comments





And nothing mean if you want to be mean in your comments take it somewhere else!Looking for legal and life advice?
My advice is DO NOT have your name taken off the birth certificate. This gives you parental rights. You're already on it, you can't be taken off if you don't request it (to my knowledge - it may vary by state).





If you've already had your name taken off (which honestly, would be very silly and somewhat strange if you want to act as his father), if you want to be in his life and love him, get that adoption paperwork signed ASAP. Once you adopt the baby officially she has to work out a plan to share custody, because legally you are his father. Once it is legally done, the biological father has no right any longer. It is just like any other adoption. Now, he can ALWAYS come back - any body can change their mind. But he would essentially have to sue for custody and they would very likely not rule in his favor since he didn't want anything to do with the baby when he was given the opportunity. Your best bet in that circumstance, both for all the adults sake and the baby, is to try to involve everyone civilly.





Think about it from the child's perspective - he will probably want to know his bio-dad for the sake of knowing who he is and where he came from (ancestry and otherwise) but you are the person who has been in his life and cared for him. It means a lot that you still want to be in his life and care for him even though you are not the father, but for his sake - do not go half way. If you want to be his dad, you can't bail out when the going gets tough (like if his bio-dad came back in the picture). It would be your responsibility then (putting all legal aside) to put the child's best interests first and try and involve everyone in his life.





It's really a lot less legal and more emotional. If you are ready to be there for this kid no matter what, good for you and all the better for the kiddo! Just remember - if you never had the DNA test, you would assume he was yours. And you wouldn't be having these thoughts of not assuming legal responsibility for him then. Just remember, if you have your name taken off the birth certificate (a bad move if you want to be in his life) and don't adopt him, you have no rights. If you do one or the other, you have all the rights of his father. I would contact a real laywer off of this answer site, since laws vary very much by state and find out what your best course of action is.Looking for legal and life advice?
Tod there is no harm in seeing, if he (natural father) truly has no desire to be apart of this baby鈥檚 life he might as well give up his rights and then you can adopt the baby assuming the mother is for you adopting her son. Clearly you care more about this little boy then his natural father this kid is lucky to have you. It would probably be wise to have this man take a dna test just to make sure he is indeed the biological father.





Once the biological father gives up his rights typical he will have a time period that he could change his mind that time frame will depend on what state you鈥檙e in. Once this time frame has passed the only way for him to get his rights back would be to readopt the baby and that couldn鈥檛 happen unless the baby鈥檚 legal parents agreed to it and gave up his/her rights. If you legally adopt this baby it will be no different then if he was your biological son. You would be responsible for paying child support until he was 18 and sometimes one even has to pay child support a bit longer. I know a lady that because her kids went to college she had to pay support through their junior year of college. You would be there for him emotionally which clearly you already have been even before he was born.





As far as the mother again once you legally adopt the baby it is no different (legally) then if he was biological your child so if things went sour she could not just take off with him and disappear or prevent you from seeing him. As his everyday father and legal father (if you adopt him) you have a right to be in his life and would get some sort of visitation no different then if he was your biological son and things went west.
If the child's biological father agrees to sign over his rights, and you legally adopt the baby, then you will have the SAME legal rights that you would have if he was your biological child. At that point the bio father couldn't come back and change his mind later, as he would have no legal rights. If you and the mother split up after the adoption was finalized, you would have the right to shared custody just like any other father.





I would suggest contacting an adoption/ family attourney right away, and figure out what is your best move at this point. Good luck.
First it will have to be determined with a DNA test if he is the father. He can't sign anything until paternity is determined.


I wouldn't take you name off the birth certificate, since you are already named as the father.


As for how to adopt him you really need to go and talk to a lawyer. That way you will know what you will have to do. The consultation visit is usually free.