Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Life advice. I need anything. Please read.?

The type of life I have always wanted for myself is this:





I want to be the type of person who can always be having fun and always be themselves and not care if they make a fool out of themselves, but everyone loves them. They are sure of themselves and always happy, and give and recieve so much love. I want to speak my mind and influence people and feel loved, and have the freedom to not have to hold back or try in order to recieve that love. The problem is I am kind of a quiet person, and i care a lot about what people think of me. For some reason, I have a strong fear of being judged. Oh and by the way I am 16 years old. I know people who act just like what i described and i want to be just like them but i dont know how. I know maybe this doesnt make sense to anybody but me, but if you could give me any advice you've got...it could just save me. I really do appreciate and love every single person who gives me advice on here, so please try?Life advice. I need anything. Please read.?
If you want a cushy life on cruise control, you are missing the point of life. Find a few good role models. You only need a few, maybe only one. ...


Failure is part of it. You will be rejected dozens and dozens of times. The best way to prepare for it is to have something else in the works by the time the rejection arrives. Invest your hope in the next project. Learning to cope with rejection is a good trait to develop. It makes perfect sense to me , but as you get older you'll find that your being too critical of yourself now .I think your going to be just fine , and I know you've heard this before : but don't worry about what others think . besides , How do you know what they are really thinking...Life advice. I need anything. Please read.?
When I was in jr high and high school I was very quiet and a little shy. I am 43 now and you would never guess I was like that. I talk and joke with people I have never met before, around friends and people I work with I joke all the time. I am anything but quiet. I simply grew out of it. Maybe you will too.
The only thing you can be is you. Nothing more, nothing less, and that's all you'll ever be. Anything (or rather, anyone) else, and it won't be you.
Hi,I work in a College with 975 boys from yr7 to yr 12 and most are a bit held back until they do public speaking or finish college and go to Uni and then you have to get up and express yourself and thats when all this character starts to kick in.Just criuse along, your character will kick in.
that makes complete sense to me. I used to be very much the same - shy, unsure of myself, worried about what people think etc. etc.





it took me time to feel comfortable about being who I am. I don't worry about other opinions very much any more, but it took many years to get over the sensitivity of others.





Realize that this has many different levels and complications - for instance, when you get a job, you have to be concerned about others - to keep your job - so it's ok to worry about what your boss, co-workers and or customers think (same applies at school - teacher, parents, students), however when you get home you can be yourself - and the more and more you feel free with your ideas and self image, the more it will be ok to do it in public and even to a certain degree at work or school.





It is always a good thing to have asperations and to try to be a better person - or more like people you admire - it takes time, effort and eventually you just have to be OK with who you are and your efforts to be the best you can be.





Enjoy life along the way - I wish you the best - great question!
Oh boy....to be 16 again....


I was a pretty young girl that had a great body (all things must change!). The reason I tell you this is because I did not realize until I got older that I WAS the person I SO wanted to be!! I wanted to be popular, and liked, and I wanted to be the one that everyone wanted to be....I thought I was a dork. I was terrified of being judged, and just wanted to be like ';her';.





Now I'm older and wiser...yes, your mother is right....I now know that I was EXACTLY what I needed to be - ME!





You are perfect...you are perfect because you are you, and nobody else. I always tell my students this...and I live by it daily....If I can look in the mirror at the end of the day, and know, deep in my heart, that I was the best I could be for that day...than NO ONE can take that from me. What I am saying is this: be greatful for who you are...there will always be someone better, prettier, skinnier, smarter, etc. But, there will NEVER be another you. The world would not be better off without you!





So....Chin up, get off the internet...and be the person you were meant to be - YOU!
For starters, stop talking about the type of person you WANT to be. You need to accpet the type of person you are, and look at what you can do to change the habits you find undesirable. Teenagers all have a strong fear of being judged. Even the ones who don't appear to.





Look at the qualities you want, and look at what you can do to get them. Want to be more outgoing- try a job that requires it. At first it will feel forced, but in time you will get more comfortable with it and it will become more natural. If you want to speak your mind, speak it- when you can. What you need to learn is when you can speak up, and when it's better not to. In time you will realize the only opinions that matter are the ones you hold of yourself.
I will try to answer ;D...


You know,you're not the only one.I also want to be like that.Some years ago I was really depressed and sad all the time,I thought that I am such a trash and nobody really needs or likes me.But then I changed my point of view.I started with little things.Do not expect too much from yourself,do what you know you can do.And dont waste your time worrying about people who judge you,be smarter and ignore them.Do what makes you happy,that's the most important.Dare!You know you can do that.You'll get it if you really want.


By the way,get this book.Sean Covey - 10 habits of highly effective teens.It's really useful for problems like that.Seriously.


Good luck,girl.I'm crossing my fingers for you:)
Well, my dear, you can't have those things with a touch of magic. You are gonna have to work hard to achieve them. First of all, you must be patient and give time to time. You are too young. You have a whole life ahead of you.





Look for all those qualities you desire in others and try hard to imitate them. Even up to the ridiculous but you must be ready to try.





Then, wait for your teenage time to finish. You will naturally acquire more than half of those traits and last but not least, your attitude will change in a way that you will look back and laugh at yourself.
Like so may others that answered, I also can relate because I was very shy as a child (No one believes that about me now!!). You have gotten some good advice from other answerers, and the main thing is to learn to love and accept yourself as you are now. You can't will yourself to be different than you are, but you can practice loving ad accepting yourself as the imperfect being you are. It might help to remind yourself that we are all imperfect beings. One way to hep free yourself is to become aware of what you do and how it makes you feel. If you laugh and have fun and act silly and that makes you feel good, pay attention to how that feels. When doubts and insecurities slip in, pay attention to how they make you feel. We are not our thoughts or feelings, our being is the thing that experiences these things. Most people who you think are judging you are much more concerned with their own problems and image than with you. It sounds like you have some very good qualities, and just the fact that you want to be a loving, joyful person is a great thing. I certainly got the sense that you are a likable person just from your question. So have faith in yourself, practice loving yourself, and you should be on your way.


Peace:=)
First of all, I totally understand what you mean and it makes sense. Second, there is no advice in the world that will give you some kind of epiphany and suddenly make you understand what you need to do to become who you want to be. It'll take you years, maybe even decades, there's no *poof* and you're amazingly perfect. By the way, you're description shows that you are really trying to be prefect, which is impossible. It's like you look at those people you know who act like you wish you could act like, and you think that their lives really are that great. I don't even have to know these people to tell you that they're not. No one is ';always happy'; or completely sure of themselves all the time. Every single person in the world has had, will have, or has insecurities and times when they feel like everyone is judging them. You want to be like other people who are your idea of perfect, but every person is different and you can't bash yourself for not being someone else. You can change yourself, of course, and become who you want to be, but in the meantime cut yourself some slack. You're trying, and that's a big part of it. If you truly want to change, you can. It'll take a while, but just look at the things you do and don't like about yourself (maybe even make a pros and cons list), and just handle one thing at a time. Don't try to change everything about yourself at the same time, it'll only confuse you, make it harder for you, and make it seem impossible. Take it one problem at a time. Like if you want to change that you're bad at listening to others, pay attention when someone talks to you, maybe try to go a whole day without once talking about yourself and asking everyone you see about themselves and really listening to them. Then continue practicing this and gradually move on to the next thing you want to work on, but never forgetting how to listen. Best of luck to you, just don't try change into someone you're not - change into a better version of yourself instead. The stuff I wrote here worked for me - I used to be a totally different person and I hated myself and everything about me, and then I decided I wanted to be someone better, and gradually I managed it. I'm 16 too, and there're still a lot of things I don't like about myself, but now that I know how to respect myself more and fix what I don't like, I'm much better off. And the confidence and all that comes with liking yourself first, cause then other people will like you too, which will boost your confidence, and confidence makes more people like you, and it kind of turns into a circle. Good luck.
My answer is NOT religion but...





The best way to have fun, be bold, courageous, live in freedom, and love others, is by first giving your life to your Creator: God. Then you'll be better equipped to influence other people. He's made you the way you are for His pleasure and purpose, not others'. In Him lie all the sources of wisdom, understanding and knowledge. If you put Him first, you can have an abundant life here and for eternity. He gives power, love, and a sound mind.





If you knew me, you'd be amazed at how much the Lord has changed me from a VERY intimidated, insecure crybaby to an aggressive but confident, peaceful person. A relationship begins with God by:





o Believing on and accepting Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord in your heart; invite Him in with a simple prayer asked in faith.


o Turning from your own way of living, and choosing God's way.





To receive the gift that God has for you today, repeat the following with your heart and lips out loud:


';Dear Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sin.


Wash me and cleanse me. Set me free. Jesus, thank You that


You died for me. I believe that You are risen from the dead and that You鈥檙e coming back again for me. Fill me with the Holy Spirit. Give me a passion for the lost, a hunger for the things of God and a holy boldness to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. I鈥檓 saved; I鈥檓 born again, I鈥檓 forgiven and I鈥檓 on my way to Heaven because I have Jesus in my heart. Amen.';


***


If you prayed the above prayer, Congratulations! Welcome to the family of God! Be sure to tell someone you've accepted Jesus. Stay in touch with the Lord:





o Pray to God every day by faith, in Jesus' name. Dump all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.





o Daily read, study, meditate on Scriptures from an easy-to-understand Bible. As you obey this life manual, it will bring you guidance, and the Holy Spirit will help you understand how to live.





o Meet Christian friends and consistently attend a local Bible-believing, teaching church which can encourage you to grow in faith. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.





For more info: click on the link below:

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