Life Advice - I need help for the first time?

I feel like I'm drowning and I need help. I'm in my early 30s. I have a great wife and 2 great kids. I have a stressful sales career. When times are good, they are very, very good. $250k+ income has not been uncommon. In the recent economy, that has been crushed though.





I recently took a new job, thinking a change would make things better... it hasn't. It is a struggle to go to work every day. I can't focus. I'm ok now financially, but unless things pick up soon, I could be headed for trouble.





I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know what to do. My wife knows a little bit about the above, but I've avoided telling her how hard things are for me because 1) i don't want her to worry, and 2) i feel like it is my obligation to suck it up and do whatever it takes.





I look at the picture in my office of my two kids and I want to break down. I feel like I'm stuck because I want to do everything I can for my family, but I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.





Help, please...Life Advice - I need help for the first time?
Dont wory, i know its the mans job to make sure that everyone in the home is taken care of. But things will pick back up. It may take some time but they will. If your wife wants to know anything let her know. But also let her know that you wont let anything bad happen to your family. I just am finally getting my head above the water. Of course i dont make anywhere near that ammount, maybe if even 30k yr. but thats why im now in college. It is rough on a lot of people right now but just keep your head up and if you dont like your job then there's always better ones out there. Good luck and hope everything works out for youLife Advice - I need help for the first time?
As someone else in a stressful occupation (project manager, engineering) I understand what stress can do to you. On top of the stress I discovered a few years ago that I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) because of winter here in the Northeast. Symptoms include:


A drop in energy level


Fatigue


A tendency to oversleep


Difficulty concentrating


Irritability and anxiety


Increased sensitivity to social rejection


Avoidance of social situations and a loss of interest in the activities you used to enjoy.





The stress also induced depression which made me feel like I was in a hopeless situation, making it difficult to get out of bed in the morning, become emotionally and physically exhausted, always tired.





If this sounds like you you should see a doctor, talk to your wife about how you are feeling, and start an exercise regime (3 hours at the gym a week worked wonders for me).
Are you saying that you are breaking down because if this continues you cannot pay your bills? Or are you saying that the new job is what is breaking you down?


If it is the former - then you have to talk to your wife about downgrading. Many people have been facing dire financial challenges during these times. Are you afraid that she cannot love you if you dont bring home the bacon? That is something that needs to be tested. You wrote that you have enough money to manage at least- and that should be a blessing to know.


If you are breaking down because the work you do now is robbing you of your soul and you feel no love for it- then think about change.The market might be hard right now and it might take time- but you can find work that appeals to you so that you enjoy your day. It just takes time.


And last but not least if you are breaking down because you have to make 250k in order to be a peace with yourself- then perhaps you have to do some soul searching? A psychotherapist might help with that.


BTW- another facette of what you have written could be that you feel that everything is on your shoulders. Does your wife behave as a partner or like another child of yours?


All in all- it sounds to me like you are questioning everything that is going on in your life right now- and as if making 250k is what made everything alright. If that is the case- then you might have been paying for love. And that is not love. Thats a business deal.


Sorry if this sounds a bit conf没sing- but because your post was vague, I mentioned a few possibilities that might fit. If any of these possibilities are too overwhelming for you then please get the help of a counselor. That is what they are there for- to help and to find alternatives. We are only overwhelmed so long as we cant find a viable solution.